A Misconception Some Men Have About Women Who Teach Yoga
Yes I’m a 24 year old single Yoga instructor, no, I will not have sex with you.
I walk into a local bar. Should I play the “yoga teacher card” or the “nursing student” card, tonight?
Am I looking for a one-night stand or a possible relationship? Because it always amazes me, the polar opposite reactions I get:
So Katie, what do you do for a living? “Well, I’m primarily a yoga instructor.”
Guy’s eyes open wide, sudden not-so-subtle look up and down at my body.
“Wow, so you must be good in bed.” Seriously? Got that one once, meant to be a joke I’m sure.
The end. Next bar.
So, Katie what do you do for a living? “Well, right now I’m a full-time nursing student.”
“Wow, I have a lot of respect for you. You must work really hard and care about people.” That’s the gist of it.
Correct. Keep going, kind sir.
I lead a fortunate life. I am healthy, happy and yes, single.
But I’m not going to sit here and tell you it’s all roses to be in your mid 20s and be a single yoga instructor looking for “the one.”
First off, I lost my boyfriend the weekend before my last yoga teacher training immersion. It just got to be too much. He said I was “changing.” And I was, but for the better.
My yoga training taught me to love all souls—everybody, whatever our differences. And to be the most beautiful soul you know. I learned that there was no way I could be of service to someone else if I wasn’t first going to serve myself.
And that didn’t have to mean to start being selfish; it just meant to start being me. I learned to stop pretending that I liked sleeping in until 11am. The real me wants to get up, get my practice in, and work hard strive to be a better being. For now, yes, I am doing this for myself, but only because I want to offer others the best version of myself, and to be attractive to those who…”get it.” If you want to serve others, love others with all your heart and entire being, we must serve ourselves—we must look within and ask, “What makes me truly happy?” and “What can I do today that’s going to reflect who I truly am?” And: what is going to allow me to aspire to be the best wife, the best mother, the best teacher?
So why is it so hard to find a partner? Simple. Respect. I don’t need to go on and on. That’s it.
When I go out to meet new people, I feel an immediate, sad disconnect with the guys I tell I’m a yoga instructor because, apparently, their mind goes into the bedroom…”…Hmmm I bet she can put her legs behind her head..!” (News flash, not every yogi can!)
I work hard as a yogi—I don’t chataraunga for strong arms so I can throw men onto a bed.
I have a daily practice that allows me to explore, to create, to release anxiety and stress so that when I do step into a bar, a studio or classroom, I am attracted to those who seek a mindful journey.
The journey is the reward. At first I was caught up looking for the one, but now my perspective has changed. Now, and everyday, I just aim to be a better Katie and to enjoy the journey that will ultimately find me my true love.
I encourage you to do the same. If you are one of the thousands of single humans out there, aim to create your own journey to love. Strive to be the best version of yourself.
If you build it, the love will come.